It is an established fact that the world’s most uncomfortable hotel bed is in Champasak, Laos, where the mattress is filled with broken bricks. But this one comes a very close second, with many of the bricks being still intact and only slightly chipped.
But let me start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. We booked this place from a glance at the map, as it seemed close to the downtown Suva area, but the map scale was deceptive, as the distance is at least a mile, and of course a map does not reveal the terrain, as that mile is steeply uphill, and through a pretty dreary bit of the inner burbs. Also, it is a very long way from any shops or places to eat.
On approaching, the entrance from the street looks down-at-heel, and then one is faced with this massive plug-ugly seven-storey slab. Descending the steep driveway brought us to the entrance, where the two other CH words were revealed – Chinese and Cheerless. Everything all around was written in Chinese, and the lady of that ethnicity at reception could no more understand English than she could put a smile on her face. She is however assisted by a number of local women who were quite the reverse, at all times smiling and helpful, and I would especially like to mention one named Karen, who went out of her way to assist us, as well as giving us a number of useful tourist tips.
Having booked a ‘Room with Pool View’, we found that the Chinese woman had instead allocated us a room with a view of a wall. One of the Fijian women assisted us in correcting this, and we saw that the pool was even more charmless. A long thin lap pool with zero seating space around it and a section of the Berlin Wall along one side. The area was principally used for hanging out washing.
The room was basic in its equipment, with NO safe box.The bathroom had a fancy shower fitting, but cracked tiling, and the tap to the basin (cold water only) was all but falling off. The building is certainly far from new, with flaking plaster on the walls.
And now the lights. These are a unique modern Chinese instrument of torture which at night do not completely turn off, but just go dim. Yes, you have to sleep with the lights on! There is one big round one in the centre, and a four small ones in the corners of the ceiling, and all stay on a dim setting all night. Horrible to have to sleep under, as well as being so wasteful of energy. We found that the curtains were so thin that light from outside was just about equally bright as from those dimmed lights, and coupled with all those hard bricks beneath our bodies we slept very badly indeed.
The air conditioning worked, but the buttons of its remote control were written in Chinese only.
Maybe at this point we need one small positive, which is the breakfast, included in the price. Fruit, cereals, toast and marmalade, and a cooked dish, fried rice one day, scrambled egg the next. Also tea and instant coffee. And there is a shared kitchen, although cooking equipment is a bit minimal.
Conclusion – if you sleep as badly as we did, that absolutely defines the whole experience, and it is certainly one to avoid at all costs.