Days Inn by Wyndham Riverside Tyler Mall

Nothing

Everything

I like the building

The maintenance and homeless around the property

I don’t even know where to begin with the absolute fever dream that is the Days Inn by Riverside in Racine. Calling this place a “hotel” feels generous—it’s more like a live-action escape room where the goal is to survive the night and leave with your sanity intact. First off, the “non-smoking” room I booked apparently just meant “we tried airing it out once in 2007.” The smell hit me like a brick wall—somewhere between wet carpet, stale cigarettes, and broken dreams. I’m pretty sure the curtains have seen things they legally can’t talk about. The bed? Oh, the bed. Imagine a tortilla filled with loose gravel—that’s about the level of comfort we’re working with. Every spring in the mattress had a personal vendetta against my spine. I woke up feeling like I got into a fight with a shopping cart and lost. Let’s talk about the bathroom. The shower had two settings: Arctic Blast and Fire Hose of Regret. No in-between. Also, I’m fairly certain the towel rack was hanging on purely out of emotional support. The towels themselves felt like they were repurposed from sandpaper. Now the ambiance—wow. At 2 a.m., I was treated to what I can only describe as an impromptu hallway concert featuring yelling, doors slamming, and someone passionately arguing with a vending machine. Truly immersive. If you’re into true crime podcasts, you’ll feel like you’re in one. The “continental breakfast” was a masterclass in minimalism: a sad waffle maker, two pieces of bread that looked like they’d seen the fall of the Roman Empire, and coffee that tasted like it had been filtered through an old sock. Customer service? The front desk worker looked at me like I was the inconvenience for showing up. I half expected them to hand me a flashlight and say, “Good luck.” Overall, if you’re looking for a place to stay, I strongly recommend literally anywhere else—including your car, a park bench, or just wandering the streets reflecting on your life choices. ⭐☆☆☆☆ (and that one star is only because I survived)