El Conquistador Resort

We arrived and got in line for check-in and there’s about five people in front of me and it took one hour and 45 minutes to check in. It was a complete crap show from the beginning. Our room was not clean. The line for coffee is astronomical. We then wanted to just get pizza later and it was an hour wait and my husband put our name on the list in an hour later we went back and they had lost our name. We finally got pizza that was undercooked and chips that were stale. The food here is terrible. But the cherry on top was when I went to concierge to book a cabana for the entire day and she told me I was all set at the waterpark from 9 to 6 PM and we got to the waterpark around 11 to find out that she had never actually made our reservation. The explanation was that when she went to book it it was full, however, nobody bothered to email me or call me even though both of contact were on the reservation form. Would I believe it happened, Is that she put it aside and forgot about it. Because they are completely understaffed. It took us an hour to get açai bowls this morning. This place is terrible. The employees are nice enough but incompetent. I would not stay here again, might as well go to Disney because at least i get a ride at the end of the 2 hour wait. Other people have had similar complaints. I have heard- this place is so slow. We should have just got an air bnb. For what i paid to stay here for 2 rooms, i would expect better food and faster service. No one wants to spend a “luxury” resort vacation waiting in line for hours.

Just a horrible hotel. Gum on our furniture. Sinks don’t drain. Guests smoking in rooms. 2hr wait for terrible food. Couldn’t get into our room u til 6pm. Children screaming everywhere. Paper thin walls.

Resort doesn’t have a beach, need to take 20 min ferry. Rooms need a good FaceTime Lift, food was horrible especially in restaurant Cuts( not fresh, cooking oil probably was changed last time a month or two ago)smelly and taste bad. All the activities like Blue water and Culebra just a gimmick and a total ripoff. Never had such a bad experience. Very disappointed. Will never go again.

I took my daughter here for winter break and at first glance it’s incredible. The views and architecture are beautiful but once you scratch the surface all the cracks appear. Arrived at 11pm and our door lock was broken, two new installed locks and four bad sets of keys we finally got in. The first day we went to the waterpark where we waited 80 mins at the Oasis Grill for a burger. There were 2 people working - one bartending, one gilling, and no one serving. We all stood there helpless as no one bothered to serve our food that was cooked but not served. The second day, the resort fills up and no one at the hotel is prepared. The trashcans are overflowing, there are cockroaches floating around the pools, the toilets in the women’s bathroom at the water park overflow all over the floor, the funicular “tram” gets stuck halfway up the hill, the bars are backed up 20 deep, and the towel guy won’t give you more than one towel to put on a wet chair after a rainstorm soaks everything. This place needs new ownership because it’s horribly run and a huge insurance liability . Putting all the aforementioned issues aside, i saw three kids slip on the pool deck and hit their heads on the stone pavers and a baby almost fall to its death on an excessively steep staircase on the ferry to Palomino Island. When you have a resort this big, you need to be fully staffed (with people who have been there more than 3 days), who know what they are doing, where things are in the hotel, when things open, and how to resolve problems. If you want to be a 2 or 3 star resort, keep it up but if you want to charge the prices you are charging and get businesses to hold their conventions here, please step it up. I feel like i’m trapped on a cruise ship and can’t wait to get to port. Ii

I am staying here now. Despite the high price tag, the resort does not have enough basic amenities for the guests. Last night, none of the dining venues on the resort were available for dinner with less than an hour wait. Breakfast was a 30 minute wait everywhere. As I write this, I am at the water park, where the only seats are next to a man setting up speakers. He tells me that the music will be so loud that I will need to move. I understand that a resort may busy, but this could be mitigated by hiring staff.

We stayed at El Conquistador expecting four-diamond service, but unfortunately our experience did not fully meet that expectation. For background, we are a family of four traveling with an autistic 7-year-old who requires gluten-free meals, and a 4-year-old. Pros: • Unparalleled natural beauty • Impeccably clean resort and rooms • Stunning views and landscaping • Multiple pools, waterpark, and private island amenity • Many dining options and water refill stations throughout the resort Cons: • Inconsistent ferry access to the private island • Limited and unreliable gluten-free food options • Guest Services difficult to reach • Balcony pests (wasps, ants, mosquitoes) not resolved after calling Guest Services Resort & Rooms: The resort itself is breathtaking, very large, and fun to explore. The funicular tram connecting the upper resort to the marina/waterpark is convenient. Room areas vary: • Las Brisas • Las Vistas (near pools and restaurants) • La Marina (closer to waterpark/ferry but limited dining) Palomino Island: The island is beautiful, but access is poorly managed. Ferry service runs on the hour starting at 9am, with the last ferry to the island at 3pm and returns until 5pm. Around 2pm, service was inconsistent due to staff lunch breaks. Sometimes a smaller boat is used instead of the larger ferry, resulting in guests being turned away. We waited about 25 minutes in line only to be turned away, which was especially difficulty for our autistic child. There is no system to count guests or inform families ahead of time that they won’t make the cutoff. We were also given conflicting explanations about why the larger ferry wasn’t running from it was broken to they just don’t use it during the week. Dining: Dining was a recurring issue. • Ventanas: Over an hour wait for food, missing items, forgotten drinks, inattentive service, and still charged full price for incomplete meals. Our son’s gluten-free muffin arrived undercooked and much later than everyone else’s food. We were told they were very busy and that the oven was broken. (The coconut French toast was delicious.) • OATs: Great açaí bowls and smoothies • Cafe Bella Vista: Just okay; outdoor setting with guests walking through • Okinawa: Excellent sushi and service • La Ezkina: Very good and consistent poolside Mexican food • El Cafecito & Palettamerica: Great grab-and-go options In-Room Dining: In-room dining is only available via QR code. Ours did not work, requiring staff to physically walk the QR code to us. Items ordered were unavailable at one location and sourced from another, resulting in different charges without notification. Charges were removed, then reapplied incorrectly. If staying in La Marina, food arrives cold due to distance. El Coquí Water Park: Great waterpark with slides, lazy river, infinity pool, and kiddie area. Strict 48-inch height requirement for larger slides. Some staff at the rental station were unhelpful. A standout was Waldy at Oasis Bar & Grill, who went above and beyond to help accommodate our son with a gluten-free grilled cheese despite ongoing equipment issues. Unfortunately, the oven remained broken our entire stay, limiting safe food options. Bottom line: El Conquistador is undeniably beautiful, with great amenities but service, communication, and disability accommodations need improvement. Families traveling with special-needs children or dietary restrictions should be aware of these challenges before booking.

Stayed 1/18–1/20/26. First time at El Conquistador. Check-in was extremely disorganized. I booked and paid for two ocean-view rooms for a party of four. Rooms were not ready at 4 PM (standard check-in) and were still not ready at 4:45 PM. Staff refused to offer a reasonable late check-out or waive the resort fee despite the delay. At 5:15 PM the same representative claimed I only had one ocean-view room and said the hotel was overbooked. Only after showing proof and pushing back did they waive the resort fee and provide a 2 PM check-out. Room conditions were poor. Brisas wing, 2nd floor had a strong musty/moldy smell in the hallway and room. Carpet powder was used to mask the odor, making it worse. Bathroom was very outdated—rust around the faucet, slippery sunken tub, and a malfunctioning shower that caused standing water. Sheets were thin and pilling. The only positives were the balcony ocean view, facilities, and restaurants. Based on the room quality and customer service, I would not stay here again.

Our trip at this resort was absolutely amazing, everything was beautiful, and we had a wonderful time, but the highlight of our trip was definitely the Coqui waterpark. Specifically, lifeguards Yakira and Yashira were so wonderful to us and our children. We will certainly return!

We enjoyed the food and service at Ballyhoo restaurant at the El Conquistador very much. Gilberto was our server. He was friendly, offered menu suggestions, and was a pleasure to talk to. The food was flavorful and delicious. Highly recommend.

This is a review for the High Tide Bar at the El Conquistador Resort. There are lots of great options at the resort and I was grateful to discover this hidden gem our first night there. With a week-long stay, I visited often. Tucked away in an upper level it has a great bar, pool table, small selection of cigars and outdoor seating with an amazing view of the ocean and overlooks the resort. The best part of High Tide though was Madeline and Mylee, the bartenders. They are an efficient pair and were able to manage big groups with ease. The service was incredible. Pleasant and prompt without being pushy. Very well made cocktails. They set me up with a custom drink my first night there and remembered it without me even having to ask. Really good folks. The next time I'm in the area, I will definitely be back.