Castle Hotel

Very freshly decorated and upgraded immaculate clean

Nothing

Superb English breakfast. Vegetarian option.

The shower takes a few minutes to warm up.

⭐ Castle Hotel, Merthyr Tydfil – 2 stars (one for the staff, one for the wine). If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to stay in a Welsh Saw movie set while simultaneously starring in Trainspotting 3, then look no further – the Castle Hotel has you covered. We booked a double room but apparently doubles don’t exist here – we got two prison beds instead, complete with a DIY project to shove them together. Very romantic. Especially under the feature ceiling art (which I can only describe as “period splatter chic”). Banksy would’ve been proud. The walls are so thin I now know the intricate details of the next room’s drug operation. By 4am I’d made imaginary friends with at least 7 people I’d never met. It was like being part of an unwanted group therapy session. The lift? Pure entertainment. Imagine a moody robot with commitment issues. It refused to let us in, then refused to let us out, then slammed its doors repeatedly as if rehearsing for Britain’s Got Talent. Eventually, we gave up and took the stairs – safer, and less chance of dying. Outside, the local welcoming committee included a full-volume lunatic and an in-progress drug deal (don’t worry, not us – we only buy wine from the porter, thanks). Later, we witnessed a stag-do clown staggering about like Pennywise on WKD. That clown was the happiest guest of the night. The staff though – absolute heroes. Friendly, helpful, and ready with wine when we needed it most (every 10 minutes). Without them, we’d have left crying. The only real downside was the cleaners barging in at 10am despite checkout being at 11. My beautiful partner, mid-slumber, was woken too early. Unforgivable. She still looked gorgeous though, so at least I was winning. All in all – it was an experience. Would I recommend it? Only if you’re writing a Netflix true crime documentary, or if you’re into horror-themed Airbnb adventures. Otherwise – bring a tent.

Centrally located. Very nice staff. Clean and comfortable room.

Noisy on the weekend! Not the fault of the hotel.

Had a room upgrade when I arrived because I had stayed at the property several times. Lovely large room. There was nothing I disliked about my stay.

Town centre location, staff pleasant

Bedroom window wouldn’t close fully

Nothing

Being kept awake through noise, very cold , tv not working, none of the facilities advertised not there, being charged £7.95 , for a triangle of toast and a coffee, partner had full breakfast at the same price but items missing , receptionist Was the cook , and no 24 hr reception as was told , when checking car at 3 am nobody available

It was comfortable, and very fairly priced

The facilities were slightly outdated and due to it being in the town centre, the night life is very loud. But not keep you up loud, just noticeable when in the room