I have been intrigued by Isla Mujeres for years, and especially by the chic little boutique Hotel Secreto since I first read about it in Conde Nast Traveler in the early 2000s, so I finally had an opportunity to give both a try. I made the reservations directly with the hotel several months in advance, with the plan to move to a luxury all-inclusive resort on the mainland afterward. At the time, only a ground floor junior suite and a standard room with no view were available, so reserve early!
We arrived at the Puerto Juarez terminal around 1:10 and immediately joined the queue for the 1:30 ferry. Thanks to advice I had read here, I knew to head to the back of the boat so we could store our luggage there and then grab seats at the back of the air conditioned interior. It was packed!
We arrived at the dock, and after a few minutes of looking around perplexedly figured out where the taxi stand was. We hopped in the first available one without confirming the price, so it was no surprise when we arrived at Secreto that the driver wanted 150 pesos for a ride that took maybe 5 minutes.
Our arrival at the hotel was a bit of a letdown. The lobby was not particularly inviting: what used to be a bar has been repurposed as an ersatz front desk cluttered with stacks of papers, office equipment, cash, and staff members’ lunches and beverages. There were two other desks or tables in the lobby similarly cluttered with office materials. All of the floral arrangements were artificial.
There were three young women working, but they were not very welcoming. One asked if we were checking in (lol) and asked for our passports. She then told us check-in time isn’t until 3PM, so she loosely gestured toward the outside and said we could sit by the pool. At no point did anyone actually say, “Welcome to Hotel Secreto.”
There is nowhere to “sit” around the pool; there are only lounge chairs, which makes it a little awkward if you’re not dressed in swimwear yet. We ordered a spicy margarita and frozen mojito (150 pesos each) from the cheery bartender and settled ourselves in a spot overlooking the sea. I knew the hotel doesn’t have a restaurant, but I was surprised they weren’t even able to offer any kind of bar snacks…just drinks.
At 3:10 we went back to the lobby to find out that our room was ready (someone could have come to tell us that). I had booked a ground floor room with direct access to the pool deck for a reasonable $250 USD per night. It was furnished as shown on the website but much darker than expected, and it could definitely use a refresh. There was no welcome bottle of wine, fruit plate, or even a simple note: just a few small bottles of water to use with the Nespresso machine. The bath products are pharmacy quality (Neutrogena). We were also informed that we had to keep track of the two beach towels provided, and they have to be left in the room each morning for the maid to exchange them. This is something I haven’t experienced outside of Cuba.
We unpacked, tried to shake off our disappointment, changed into more comfortable clothes, and decided to stroll around the town. As it was Sunday, North Beach was positively packed. I didn’t really see the appeal of just standing or sitting in the shallow water with so many other people, and lots of boats anchored nearby. The beach club chairs were arranged tightly like on a cruise ship. But the water was very clear and people seemed to be in a party mood.
At first glance, the town offered what we anticipated: cheap souvenir shops cheek-by-jowl with “laminated menu restaurants,” small hotels, and various tour providers. It’s the most casual place we’ve ever been. Lots of people strolling around barefoot, shirtless (men), or just in their bathing suits. I get how this must be very appealing for some people…just not my vibe.
Back at the hotel, we cooled off with a dip in the chilly lap pool (it too could use some maintenance) and then just relaxed on the deck until it was time to change for dinner. There was pleasant piped in “chill” music for most of the time until a bartender changed it to some kind of intrusive Mexican pop and hip hop for a couple of hours.
On the first morning we started the day with breakfast at a recommendation from the forum and the hotel itself: North Garden. Terrific atmosphere, friendly service, and good food. Green juice for both of us, a couple of lattes, cappuccino French toast for me (delicious) and an omelette for my partner. The total with tip was 800 pesos (again, kind of expensive for what it was).
After breakfast, we returned to the hotel and requested to have loungers and an umbrella set up on the beach. It’s much too rocky to swim in the little cove, but it’s super quiet compared to North Beach, and the sound of the waves on the rocks is so relaxing. We had a couple of decent cocktails, read our books and magazines, and relaxed the afternoon away.
We hadn’t yet been to the rooftop bar (open only from 5PM to sunset, weather permitting), so on the last of our three nights we made that a priority. It’s a surprisingly attractive venue with what appears to be new furniture. The views are wonderful and the drinks are decent (albeit a little more expensive than they are when they’re made by the same bartender downstairs at the pool). It just needs some extra touches like fresh flowers or candles on the tables. It felt quite bare/simple up there.
Aside from the rooftop terrace, the only other amenities the hotel offers are a spa (just massages) and an absolute disgrace of a gym: old equipment in varying states of repair/disrepair, dark, super hot and stuffy; with cleaning supplies, discarded furniture, and other junk in plain view.
This hotel must have been chic when it first opened, but it’s been coasting on its “Hot List” status for 20 years. If you’re a no-frills guest who wants just a basic room and some peace and quiet, Hotel Secreto is a decent choice. If you’re a discerning traveler who has an appreciation for luxury and design, and you want a little pampering on your vacation, you need to look elsewhere.
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